Toddler Temper Tantrums
Temper Tantrums
Toddler temper tantrums are usually at there worst between the ages of 2 to 3 years of age hence the saying of terrible twos. Temper tantrums can go on into later years although
they should be few and far between as your child reaches school age.
However sometimes this is not always the case.
Our autistic daughter of 8 still has what could be called temper tantrums although they are more likely to be termed meltdowns.
Toddler temper tantrums occur when your little one can't have what they want and can't express their emotions any other way.
You may see crying, screaming, arching backs, kicking, hitting, biting, head banging, breath holding and even vomiting.
It is important to remember that your toddler is not in control during a tantrum, a tantrum is not preplanned
and your child may be quite frightened by the intensity of their temper tantrums.
temper Tantrums will vary from toddler to toddler in how many, the intensity and length.
You may find your toddlers tantrums are worse during periods of change, for instance: change of house or new baby.
Tiredness and hunger can also bring on toddler temper tantrums. A child may tantrum because they are overstimulated and can't calm down.
If a toddler cannot cope because a sibling has taken a toy they may also tantrum, they don't know another way to communicate.
Children who learn other ways to communicate and who's parents are
consistent and don't give into a tantrum often grow out of tantruming fairly quickly.
How to prevent toddler temper tantrums
- Help your little one by maintaining routine....at a time when they feel out of control, it is important that daily life is stable.
- Keep your toddler busy..........A child who is bored will have more temper tantrums, keep them busy with activities or helping you.
Toddlers usually love to help with adult activities such as laying the table, try saying to your little one "can you help mummy clear away these toys"rather than "put your toys away".
- Try to give your child a choice.......give a maximum of two choices, e.g.. "do you want to wear this blue top or that pink top?" This helps your little one in becoming independent.
- Choose your battles........you don't want to spend all day in battles with your toddler so choose your battles and be consistent.
- Keep instructions short and simple.........make sure your youngster understands your instructions
- Put away toys that cause frustration and temper tantrums.........until you can provide help or until your child is older.
- Give warning.........warn your toddler that an activity is going to end shortly.....this may not prevent a temper tantrum initially but your child will soon understand that you mean what you say...it will give them time to prepare for the change of activity.
- Reward good behaviour.......try to spend some quality one to one time with your child every day......try a reward chart with stickers to establish the behaviours you want.
- Ignore bad behaviour......try not to give too much attention to bad behaviour... your toddler may try to get even negative attention than no attention.
- Be consistent....."no" means "no" today, tomorrow and next week........be black and white....no grey areas for toddlers.
- Try making trigger activities into a game.....if putting toys away is a trigger for a toddler temper tantrum make it into a game......"lets see how quickly we can put these toys away", "can you put your jumper on before I count to five", etc.
- Try offering a favored activity that can be done after a trigger activity....."let's put these toys away then we'll have some juice" or......"let's put these toys away then we'll read a book together"
- Remove your treasured objects from toddlers reach so you are not constantly saying "no"
- Provide alternative activities......if your youngster cannot do something don't just say "no" ....provide an alternative
- If you can, time things like shopping when your little one is not hungry or tired....perhaps do shopping on the internet(I do this it is a lifesaver).....do it on your own if possible (if you can leave child with your partner or other family or friends)
If you do have to take your toddler get them to help you, this will take longer but will engage him/her whilst you shop.
- Have fun with your toddler, have lots of hugs and kisses together, don't forget to laugh.
To read how to deal with toddler temper tantrums go to our temper tantrums
page.
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