Toddler Temper Tantrums
Temper Tantrums

Toddler temper tantrums are usually at there worst between the ages of 2 to 3 years of age. Temper tantrums can go on into later years although they should be few and far between as your child reaches school age.

However sometimes this is not always the case. Our autistic daughter of 8 still has what could be called temper tantrums although they are more likely to be termed meltdowns.

Toddler temper tantrums occur when your toddler can't have what they want and can't express their emotions any other way. You may see crying, screaming, arching backs, kicking, hitting, bitting head banging, breath holding and even vomiting.

It is important to remember that your toddler is not in control during a tantrum, a tantrum is not preplanned and your toddler may be quite frightened by the intensity of their tantrums.

Tantrums will vary from toddler to toddler in how many, the intensity and length. You may find your toddlers tantrums are worse during periods of change, for instance: change of house or new baby.

Tiredness and hunger can also bring on toddler temper tantrums. A toddler may tantrum because they are overstimulated and can't calm down. If a toddler cannot cope because a sibling has taken a toy they may also tantrum, they don't know another way to communicate. Children who learn other ways to communicate and who's parents are consistent and don't give into a tantrum often grow out of tantruming fairly quickly.

How to prevent toddler temper tantrums

Help your toddler by maintaining routine....at a time when they feel out of control, it is important that daily life is stable.
Keep your toddler busy..........A toddler who is bored will tantrum more, keep them busy with activities or helping you.
Try to give your toddler a choice.......give a maximum of two choices, eg. "do you want to wear this blue top or that pink top?" This helps your toddler in becoming independent.
Choose your battles........you don't want to spend all day in battles with your toddler so choose your battles and be consistent.
Keep instructions short and simple.........make sure your toddler understands your instructions
Put away toys that cause frustration.........until you can provide help or until yout toddler is older.
Give warning.........warn your toddler that an activity is going to end shortly.....this may not prevent a tantrum initially but your toddler will soon understand that you mean what you say...it will give them time to prepare for the change of activity.
Reward good behaviour.......try to spend some quality one to one time with your toddler every day......try a reward chart with stickers to establish the behaviours you want.
Ignore bad behaviour......try not to give too much attention to bad behaviour... your toddler may try to get even negative attention than no attention.
Be consistent....."no" means "no" today, tomorrow and next week........be black and white....no grey areas for toddlers.
Try making trigger activities into a game.....if putting toys away is a trigger for a toddler temper tantrum make it into a game......"lets see how quickly we can put these toys away", "can you put your jumper on before I count to five", etc.
Try offering a favored activity that can be done after a trigger activity....."let's put these toys away then we'll have some juice" or......"let's put these toys away then we'll read a book together"
Remove your tresured objects from toddlers reach so you are not constantly saying "no"
Provide alternative activities......if your toddler cannot do something don't just say "no" ....provide an alternative
If you can, time things like shopping when your toddler is not hungry or tired....perhaps do shopping on the internet(I do this it is a lifesaver).....do it on your own if possible (if you can leave toddler with your partner or other family or friends) If you do have to take your toddler get them to help you, this will take longer but will engage your toddler.
Have fun with your toddler, have lots of hugs and kisses together, don't forget to laugh.